There is a lot right with this column, and the overall message is a good one. However, true abundance is far more than monetary, as every fully actualized person I know would happily tell you. To be sure, these people are few in number, and far fewer still in $5,000 suites…if you catch my drift.

Jared, I don’t now if you read this stuff but a word of warning. Most of the people I see who have it all, soon do not have it all. “All” seems to come a go quite rapidly. In my case, cancer. I am a CF who got to be a millionaire. I give some away and still a CF but beware. It “All” comes and goes quite quickly with job loss, cancer, divorce, those things we don’t control. Glad you have it all. I too, have it all, but it’s not what I had in mind. It’s like ordering filet mignon and getting macaroni and cheese and realizing both are having it all. Everyone gets the same air, same water, same 24 hours, same life, but some live in a prison of poverty. What money buys is lifestyle. That’s all. I enjoy having that lifestyle and sharing money with my relatives. Remember, money is gold bullion. Computer credits are not money. Wealth is a from the past, not the future. The computer credits and score do not impress people. It’s the reality of real money, minted by the US Treasury as ounces of gold. Federal Reserve computer credits are just that, debt, credits, not money. Please prosper and know the difference between a promise made and a promise delivered. That is the difference between gold and credit. Bit coin is just computer credits and not real money but the fakers, the imitators, are hoping to take over the real world and suppress the true value of other people’s time. I tell my kids, know what you want, know what the price is, and pay the price. Too many people want something for nothing like an over promised pension, over promised bit coins, over promised future. Having it all today is no promise it’s all there tomorrow. People die every day and we live our lives as if we are immortal. Quote from the Mahabharata by Vyasa. Thanks for your message.

Not sure I entirely agree with this message Sir.

I am all for the “diet now” enjoy the chocolate cake later.  Our society is, unfortunately, wired for instant gratification.  Digital devices are only making our patience quotient shorter.

I also agree to spend money wisely not wastefully.  Like you wrote a couple of weeks ago, if you truly enjoy that daily latte (Dunkin’ Donuts ice coffee for $2.86 sound familiar?) go for it.  If you enjoy traveling or buying clothes, go for it.  I tell others: whatever you do in life, ensure you die happy living life to the fullest. 

However, I disagree on the buying clothes at Target aspect.  Clothes do not make the person any more than a habit makes a monk.  This axiom equally hits both the $25,000 a year crowd or the $150,000 a year group.  If wearing expensive threads or leather brings joy and meaning into your life (at whatever income levels) by all means enjoy the experience.  But wealth is not defined by accumulating material possessions or quantity.  Maybe the $150k a year saver prioritizes real estate transactions over clothes.  Or even Michelin 3-star cuisine experiences.

It is not a self-esteem issue.  Nor do Thomas Stanley’s heroes in “The Millionaire Next Door” need to change their lifestyle.  If they found abundance with what achieved them their goals, why mess with success?

Keep writing.  It is always welcomed.

The problem is this… no one gives a lunch break.  You and I had about the same sort of dysfunctional upbringing causing us to focus on your concept of ‘abundance’.  I love the term - and I wholly agree with you - but the simple fact is that when I was thirty or forty years old I wouldn’t have given a batsass about a philosophical concept like that.  Heck you are talking Buddhism (whatever that is!).  At that age what I would need you to tell me is how to max out my 401K.  Jeezz I’m a Brit living in London – I don’t even know what a 401K actually is!  But three weeks ago my defined contribution ‘Emerging Markets’ pensions fund took a lunch break because a bloke with a hair style phased out about an issue that seems to matter to you Yanks but to no one else.  Just give me a heads-up next time that is going to happen.

Where do you introduce the abbreviation “CF”.  What does it mean in the context of this essay. 

Generally I enjoy your essays, but Mystery Abbreviations are always a PITA* for this reader.

* PITA = Pain In The Ass

Thanks Jared for all the good writing, thought inducing commentary and wit at large. With that out of the way, I disagree with a few sections.

” people say that you should spend your money on experiences, not things. There is some spiritual component to this that I don’t get. “

This is babyboomer and Gen X thinking. Millennials and even more so Gen Z’s are the cohort wanting experiences rather than things, they are the share economy and gopro generation - even neuroscience backs them up. 
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” but I like spending money on things more. Clothes in particular. You feel (and act) differently when you are wearing an expensive suit and an expensive pair of shoes. People who make $150,000 a year and still get all their clothes at Target do this not out of frugality, but low self-esteem.”

This is simply preference and opinion, your model of the world so to speak. I just spend a six digit amount on a new aircraft, but nevertheless shop clothes in Target, not because of low self esteem, but because clothing and Rolex watches simply do not interest me - again, just my modus operandi and preference. In fact… suited all up I feel fake and eerily foreign to myself. 
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“The other crap you hear on Facebook, and pretty much everywhere else, is that money doesn’t make you happy”

Absolutely right - but only up to a certain income level after which there is minimal to no gain in happiness, The dollar threshold ofcourse varies with zipcode or country. But the numbers are no higher than upper middle class in their respective setting. This to me at least makes perfect sense.     
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....and for being a lucky guy - thank your intelligence first and foremost, the pre-eminent determinant. Had you been born 30 points lower, things would be quite different.

Cheers and thanks for the great writing, Tom      

Jared, I got there.  I saved and saved while young and now, old, spend and spend.  I did retire (mostly) at 56 though. 

Your thrill it seems, is clothes.  Not so for all of us.  I drive a hot rod (Challenger Hellcat) and fly hot air balloons, and scuba dive, and travel and…..

I kept 15 of the last houses I built (I retired from being a builder after 30 years) as rentals. It really is an education.  Most tenants cannot save a dime though they spend on stupid stuff.  They cannot be educated, they think they are the ones that have it figured out.

One tenant paid a 10% (of monthly rent) penalty every month so she could pay 1/2 the rent in the middle of the month. She did this for years.  I explained to her how much she was throwing away, she was not interested. 

I built my rentals out of pocket and earn a good retirement income from them.  I know buildings, I invested in what I know. It works for me.

Abundance aka Financial Independence

I disagree with his characterization of how people spend their money:

“People who make $150,000 a year and still get all their clothes at Target do this not out of frugality, but low self-esteem.”

I often see the opposite. People often spend money on things they personally don’t value, but other people do. Essentially, they spend money on the image they want to project to others. This seems more correlated to low self-esteem than the reverse.

“The other thing about that God-awful Millionaire Next Door book is that all the people profiled in it didn’t change their behavior once they became millionaires. They were still rabid CFs. A million dollars may not be a lot of money, depending on where you go in the country. But in a lot of places it is a lot of money, and maybe it’s time to move up from Old Navy to Banana Republic.”

If you don’t value nice clothes, then it is a waste to spend more money on clothes. I hardly think that having your spending priorities figured out is a bad thing. When looking at discretionary spending, you should have two simple rules:

1. Spend money on the things you value.
2. Don’t spend money on the things that you don’t.

I believe that your opinions are well thought out, but I must disagree on one point:
“People who make $150,000 a year and still get all their clothes at Target do this not out of frugality, but low self-esteem.”

Clothes are important to you, they are not that important to everyone.  I am a CPA and when I worked at a “Big 4” firm, I was required to wear a nice suit every day.  I did not like it.  I do not wear suits anymore.  I am one of “those people” who wear a Jos. A. Bank suit to the occasional wedding I attend.  Target is probably a “step up” from Costco or Kohls, but I am fine with their togs.  I made over $200K last year.  Clothes are not important to me.